INDIVIDUATING: Give up the teat! Many of us sense the possibility that we could do something more meaningful with our lives, but we can’t manifest it, something holds us back. This was true for us (Jake & Hannah)—and only when we individuated from our family of origins did we free ourselves. Within the Live Conscious community we have ongoing conversations about how to individuate from our parents and from our partners. We offer guidance and tools and support, all of which are needed because no one ever taught us how to individuate—how to find our own voices and live congruently.
It is extremely important that we honor our truth, speak up for ourselves and create healthy boundaries. We all need to create safety in our lives, remove ourselves from abusive relationships and protect children who can be victims of abuse. The turning point in my...read more
Moms (and Dads) have their ways. They can be pretty powerful in good ways and in not so good ways. Much guidance and direction are needed when we are young, but when we find we’re still being directed, manipulated or controlled (often in our own minds) by our...read more
The final stage in the process of individuation is reconnecting with the person you individuated from and interacting with them without losing yourself. This is not always possible. But you won’t know until you go through the stages of declaring and separating, which...read more
This post explores how to individuate by taking the second step in the three step process. In an earlier post I wrote generally about the individuation process. I identified three stages: Declaring Separating Reconnecting I’ve written about declaring, and now I want...read more
This blog post explores how to individuate. In an earlier blog post I wrote more broadly about the Individuation Process. I wrote about the need to individuate if we ever want to become our own person and live a life of our own choosing. I wrote about how...read more
Autonomy and Intimacy To fulfill our greatest potential requires us to differentiate so that we can experience autonomy from others and intimacy with others. One key step to accomplish this is that we must individuate. The individuation process most commonly occurs...read more
A dear client of mine recently had to say goodbye to her mother who passed away three months after being diagnosed with cancer. My client fully participated in her mother’s dying process. Much healing occurred as the daughter accompanied her mother down the last part...read more