Tag Archives | Love

Four Mistakes That Couples Make

I spend several hours every week watching smart people make terrible mistakes in how they treat their lovers/partners. What follows is a list of the four major mistakes I see couples make. If I do nothing more than commit myself to avoiding these four mistakes, I radically improve the quality of my partnership. 1. Comparing […]

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Dating Relating Mating

A Map For Romantic Relationships Walk, run, rest. Hop, skip, jump. Birth, life, death. Everything has a rhythm—an order. This is true for romantic relationships but most people don’t know or pay attention to the order. It goes like this: Dating, Relating, Mating. And when I use the term “mating,” what I mean is entering […]

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Ken Brill

How To Die Well

I’ll tell you a short story about a friend of mine who showed me how to die—and how to die well. Ken was a flawed person—like all of us. And he used his flaws to fuel his personal growth. This wasn’t natural to him. With a degree in engineering and an MBA from Harvard, he […]

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Young woman is seeing her boyfriend off

How To Love

It can be easy I want to share with you part of a recent therapy session I conducted. The work I did is counter-intuitive in many ways. It connects to a previous article I wrote, Love or Fear. So much of therapy is based on minimizing people’s fears, and although at times this is necessary […]

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Screen shot 2013-04-26 at 3.23.29 PM

Happier World

 Can You Redo Yourself? This morning while driving our grandson to school, his mother called him on his iPhone. (I don’t think 12-year-olds should have iPhones, but his father bought it for him and his parents are divorced—and well—you can imagine the rest.) At least he uses the speaker phone so not to expose his […]

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Aging couple relationship symbol and losing sex drive concept or low sexual desire metaphor as two trees shaped as kissing human heads losing leaves as in autumn season.

After the Honeymoon

Maintaining a loving relationship is an exciting new category for us to explore. In our recent retreats we’ve had more young people participating and we realize the remarkable opportunity that they have by learning these skills early in life. Learning how to communicate in a healthy way is one of the primary reasons that a […]

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Buddha Face with Red Background

Being Kind

“My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.” Dali Lama   A patient recently shared with me the difficulties he was having relating with his mother. There were parts of her—certain behaviors and attitudes of hers—that he was having difficulty accepting. He recognized that those qualities in her were not going to change. She […]

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Child's play outside

The Need To Be Right

“You have your way.I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”   ~Friedrich Nietzsche   Yesterday I drove my mother and father to the VA hospital in Albuquerque for a doctor’s appointment. I had never been to a VA hospital before. I guess […]

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