“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”
~ Anna Quindlen
I recently returned from someone else’s 5-day workshop. I do this every year—attend a workshop—to keep myself growing and to stimulate my creativity for our own retreats. As usual, I chose a program that would push me beyond my comfort zone.
John Weir, our mentor, said that: “Growth only happens when we first disorient ourselves and then reorient ourselves with what we have learned.” The way I think of this is that when I make space for something new, something unknown, I expand myself and become more of who I am capable of being.
In order to do this, it helps to first admit that I am human and less than perfect. This is my starting point. Once I embrace my imperfection, I’m a lot less anxious about moving out of my comfort zone. I’m less nervous about being seen as less than perfect.
I assume that we all want to be seen as being on top of our game, yet, by admitting that I am less than perfect, I have opened the door to becoming more accepting of who I am, more human, and likely more loved and more lovable . . . especially by and to myself.
In fact, if I give up my need to be perfect, in order to impress others, ironically, I feel a little more perfect! I’m not flawless . . . will never be . . . and don’t think that anyone is. I no longer believe that to justify my existence, or even to be loved, I have to be perfect. As long as I am kind and behave maturely, I can enjoy the freedom of just being human.
He who is most perfect is not worth the most any more! Yahoo!
And just because I think there might be a state of perfection doesn’t mean that there actually is one. So far I have never seen or heard of any human being that was perfect. Not any guru, not the pope, not the president, not anybody. I guess I’ll have to break the news to Jake 🙂
Will I always be in this frame of mind . . . will I always remember this and be perfectly free of my desire for perfection? No.
Even though I believe it’s fundamentally detrimental to humanity, I don’t believe there is a complete cure for perfectionism. I will not be perfect, and besides, I still need motivation to grow so that I strive to be more than I am at this moment. But I will try to stay aware of not striving to be perfect.
Salvador Dali once said:
“Have no fear of perfection—you’ll never reach it.”
In a Live Conscious Retreat we learn how to stop being judgmental of ourselves or of others. We begin to see how uniquely different we all are, while appreciating our differences. We get to find what most matters to us and to follow our hearts without worrying about what someone else thinks or tells us to do or be.
Imagine feeling free to be exactly who you want to be, even if you’re not being perfect!