What Is Your Essence?

If you weren’t molded by your parents

during the first three to four years of your life,

who would you be today?


If you ponder this vital question—and answer it with just one word—you will find your essence.

The answer is not that you were pure and perfect before your were influenced by others. The answer is in recognizing that regardless of who raised you, or what happened to you, there is something that would be true about you no matter what?

What is that?

If you have trouble doing this, write a comment below and I’ll assist you.

If you find your essence, please consider sharing it with us by writing a comment below.

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146 Responses to What Is Your Essence?

  1. Ciah Banks December 22, 2012 at 10:56 am #

    My essence, would be, if I had to sum it up in just one word;
    Sensitive; which can be a good or bad thing, but it’s what I know to be the truth about myself and I know everyone who knows me would definitely say this about me as well.

    • Jake Eagle December 22, 2012 at 10:52 pm #

      I smile when I read your response, because my answer is the same word. It may mean different things to us, but when I think of my essence, “sensitivity” is the word and sensation that comes to me.
      I no longer think of being sensitive as “good or bad,” but rather as a way of experiencing myself that has at times made my life challenging, but more often than not has resulted in my life and relationships feeling very rewarding.
      Thank you for your comment.

      • MrB September 20, 2020 at 9:28 pm #

        Explorer. I think this is my essence. And perhaps yours.

        I have too many words. Explorer. Curiosity. Pathfinder. Thinker. Philosopher. Intuitor. WayCrafter. Leader. Creator. Designer. Helper. Coach. Do-gooder.

        Any thoughts? It seems like essence is “spiritual beingness fuel” which gives our base spark and energy that feeds our intents, interests, actions, doings, and production/contributions.

        • Jake and Hannah Eagle September 20, 2020 at 9:46 pm #

          Hi MrB., I appreciate wanting to use more than one word. Explorer. But how do you explore? What is the quality or tone of your explorations? What is at the “essence” of HOW you lead, create, design, help?

          • MrB September 21, 2020 at 8:36 am #

            Thanks for the reply and question. I guess I explore both for curiosity and for purpose. Probably purposefully most? I am Myers Briggs ENTJ and Enneagram 3w2…so, I explore to find an effective and efficient way to achieve? However, I can simply drift in exploration as well, just out of explorational curiosity, both in travel, coffee shop mode and hiking in the woods. I wonder….if PathCrafter is my essence?. I use my whole toolkit to craft a path forward.. Systematically,i suppose I am looking for the “base fuel of my spiritual essence” from which beingness, cause and action flow forth from?

      • Nicholas February 27, 2021 at 9:28 am #

        Hey there Jake and fellow seekers. If I were to have one word to describe my essence I would only have one thing to say, My Soul. I still am working with it to fully understand how complex and yet easy it is to understand. But I do know this, it is sensitive, it is kind, it is all seeing yet at times completely blind. It is truthful it knows it’s own lies, always happy, always cries. It is new so new it’s old. As best is is wick that burns the oil that molds. LOVE is its love as it will for eternity ever hold. It’s the sun flames as hot as Ice as Ice is cold. A one part piece that holds a tri-fold. Was never bought and will NEVER be sold. These are the words I say from what my SouL has told. Explorer of everything with no direct direction. Wise it be most at times with eye of pure intention. Voice of a lion with a sing of a bird but little does it mention. Strong as a bull but weak like sting under tension. It has been me since me has been in this and that dimension. It’s all of us in everything through space and universal ascension. You is me as me is you I guess it lives it’s own reflection. Drop a hint of sliver “sense” 6 of them to its dime. I know what it’s calling after 30 years of mime. Awakening the true Spirit of all that sleeps our SOuLs are true and Divine. From my heart to yours Sacred and in line. Love to all and everything let the music of harmony shine. Last, Leaving Less Least- Love those who hate or have wronged you the most and everything else be Wine. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. Bless this question. Thank you Eagle’s. Be careful be safe and always be more kind.

    • Denise Piper January 17, 2018 at 4:40 pm #


      • MrB September 21, 2020 at 8:52 am #

        Interesting. Is that yours?

  2. Mari December 22, 2012 at 7:27 pm #

    I do have trouble finding my essence. Assist me, please

    • Jake Eagle December 22, 2012 at 10:49 pm #

      What do you sense to be true about yourself? Regardless of circumstances . . . good times bad times . . . is there something that is consistently true for you?
      The idea of asking, “Who would you be if your parents didn’t mold you?” is to remove their influence from the way you think about yourself.
      Many people find it helpful to “feel” into this question. The answer often is not an intellectual one, but rather a sense you may have, a visceral sense of yourself.
      When you wake in the morning, before you are fully awake, what sense do you have of yourself?
      Please share more of what you discover.

      • Mari December 29, 2012 at 7:59 pm #

        I feel deeply for others in pain, so I am over sensitive,I am genuine and passionate about honesty, sincerity, and fairness.

      • J May 2, 2020 at 9:32 am #

        Can it be a ‘bundle of light’?

  3. Jon Cobrda December 23, 2012 at 4:04 am #

    —if I honestly closed my eyes and listened to my heart and felt what it said every morning I wake up, I think I would have to go with, versatile.

    • Jake Eagle December 23, 2012 at 12:10 pm #

      Hi versatile,
      This sounds quite relaxing or comforting. It reminds me a bit of “resilience,” but what I like about “versatile” is that I think of it as preceding events, instead of being in response to events.
      Thanks for sharing this.

      • Jon Cobrda January 1, 2013 at 4:28 pm #

        Thank you for your response as well— it warms my heart to read such organic and uplifting words. I like to think of the versatility in me as resilient too, because as you said perfectly, when there are walls, or demons, or obstacles presenting themselves in daily life instead of being in the seat of response to them it’s almost as though I welcome them all in and exercise them on my own accord. Have a happy New Years.

      • Rhoda November 22, 2022 at 6:42 pm #

        I still don’t know what my essence is!!! But I think I’m desperate, someone who’s always alone but still feel I need someone and sometimes curious and most especially scared of what I’m going to be in future

    • Brianna k April 9, 2021 at 4:11 pm #

      Wild or free

  4. Bonnie Reaves December 23, 2012 at 11:48 am #

    Good Morning! I immediately thought of the word “sensitive.” I am sensitive to insects, garbagemen and prisoners. But when I investigate this further, the core of my sensitivity comes from a belief in justice for everything. The majority of the time I am asking myself, “is this fair, is this just?” I enjoy being just.

    • Jake Eagle December 23, 2012 at 12:12 pm #

      Hi Bonnie—
      I appreciate the way you went deeper into yourself to find a more meaningful essence. The deeper I go into myself, the truer truth I find.
      I understand your essence to be “justice.”

    • Bea May 16, 2020 at 10:18 pm #

      I grew up in a hispanic household that had christian faith in God and my parents had a strong loving marriage. I think all of this truly influenced me.. I am sensitive, spiritual, ethical and passionate. I remember feeling insecure when I was young. When a man first fell in love with me and I fell in love with him, I learned to to really appreciate my essence. I came into myself because I felt so worthy of love when I was loved like that.

  5. zoe December 23, 2012 at 1:35 pm #


    • Ana September 2, 2021 at 10:45 pm #

      I think my one word would be sensitive, I’m not 100% sure. Assist me with this please.
      I think something that would never change of me, Is to make others feel seen and important.

      • Jake and Hannah Eagle September 3, 2021 at 1:50 am #

        Hi Ana, I trust that “sensitive” may be your essence, and I trust that you know.

        And when you say that you want to make others feel seen and important, you might play with your language by saying, “I want to help others make themselves feel seen and important.” From a Live Conscious point of view, the idea is to empower people to see themselves and believe they are important, not because you think so, but because they think so.

        • Ana September 3, 2021 at 4:56 pm #

          Yes I like to help others see that, but there’s more. I believe I’m complex. I use to believe I was an empath. I like to hear people out and whatever they have to say as well.

  6. April December 27, 2012 at 6:33 pm #

    I would have to say inquiring. I still approach life with the sometimes playful attitude that I am always learning.

  7. Chiara December 28, 2012 at 2:59 pm #


  8. Linda Compton December 29, 2012 at 9:13 am #

    My essence has been and is nurturing. The profession I chose or fell into? forty years ago requires me to be harsh and judgmental at times, bringing finality and closure to difficult situations, yet my most true interactions where I feel most deeply that I have made a difference in someone’s life come from my nurturing essence. I see a part of me in working through this question that I had not seen clearly before. I read the question many days ago and saddened myself in seeking my essence in this way. I frustrated myself in not having an answer to the question come into my consciousness. I saw the post this morning from Jake and Hannah and intrigued myself to see what others in me found to be their essence. I read the comments offered here by the others in me and unfroze the ice block inside me. I have not valued the importance of nurturing in what I do. I use a lot of energy to toughen myself against my emotional reactions. I suppress my “instinct” to nurture. I aware me now of this internal conflict I make for myself between going by the book for consistency purposes and the times my preference is to relax into a situation and simply be there for someone as a nurturer, being present with them as we are for each other in the circle at our retreats. Sometimes I will still need to be a fixer- upper and problem-solver as this is also a strength I bring. I broaden for myself my choices now in my behavior. I have down-played the nurturing me in favor of the decisive me. I grateful me for this question about our essence. I hopeful myself that with my new awareness I will conflict me less and authentic myself more as I own and embrace this essence of me.

  9. Hannah Eagle December 29, 2012 at 9:54 am #

    I believe my essence is courage. I recently read a description of courage. It went something like this: “Courage is not the lack of fear but the willingness to take action in the face of fear.” I resonate with this definition and see this as how I have lived much of my life.

    • Shah December 10, 2020 at 2:37 pm #

      Oh I love this quote of Ambrose Redmoons’! It’s so useful when you need to do something new or say something others may not like

  10. Sabine December 29, 2012 at 7:54 pm #

    CONTINUATION . all continues, even if all ends . I continue to be , since my birth . Every single day, and every single day different , I continue being, living, experiencing many facets of this life-journey, despite and because of all lows and highs. If I feel stuck and helpless, tired and ‘at the end of the rope’, I nonetheless CONTINUE … Even if I would consider killing myself, I would CONTINUE – as an eternal nonphysical essence …. While I post me here, I deepen myself – ALL is ever CONTINUATION really – in me. – wow –

  11. Bruce Taylor December 31, 2012 at 1:31 pm #

    This was David Hawkins definition of Essence:
    “The Self knows, by virtue of its Essence, all that exists beyond time and therefore beyond memory.
    Ego/mind thinks,
    Field (Consciousness) knows,
    Self is.”

    We are all the stuff of which stars are made:

    “Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. And, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand. It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust. You couldn’t be here if stars hadn’t exploded, because the elements – the carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, iron, all the things that matter for evolution and for life – weren’t created at the beginning of time. They were created in the nuclear furnaces of stars, and the only way for them to get into your body is if those stars were kind enough to explode. So, forget Jesus. The stars died so that you could be here today.”
    – Lawrence Krauss

    • Ana September 3, 2021 at 4:49 pm #

      I’m going to comment the part where you said forget Jesus, and why you shouldn’t forget about him. He died for our sins, God brought down his only son to die for us. He sacrificed his son for us. The stars died so that we could be here? The stars gave us life?

  12. Bruce Taylor December 31, 2012 at 1:48 pm #

    Now to respond within the intended context, the essence of the heart. It has taken me a long time to discover and nurture what I have come to accept as my essence, but arises in me more powerfully over time: empathy and compassion. These are what call to me to live into. And as I age and mature emotionally, these are where my mind naturally travels to. Sometimes translating this Essence into Action in the practicality of daily life is a struggle for me, but it is a worthy struggle to consciously face in me.

  13. Beks January 24, 2013 at 9:18 pm #

    My essence would be: Belief. In myself to accomplish limitless things. In others to not hurt me. In the morning I am always the most hopeful as it is a new day and a new opportunity to believe this will be a good day. Too bad my parents ruined that essence and now I must fight for it as much as my energy allows. How do you ignore the programming of the early years and become your authentic self?

    • Jake Eagle January 24, 2013 at 9:25 pm #

      “How do you ignore the programming of the early years and become your authentic self?” Well, you don’t ignore the programming…that’s denial. You really become aware of the programming and recognize how it has impacted you.

      And then, you realize you are now an adult and no longer a victim of the programming. You now have the ability to individuate from your parents, to cut the cord, to adopt your own beliefs, to set your own boundaries. As you do this, you re-parent yourself.

      By taking responsibility for what you are doing with the early programming—because your parents are no longer doing it to you—you can free yourself from those old reactive patterns.

      If your essence is really “belief in yourself,” what would you need to do to live your life that way? Your parents didn’t ruin you, not if you’re still alive and asking these questions.

  14. Randy January 28, 2013 at 4:30 am #


  15. Niko January 30, 2013 at 1:35 am #

    Some blend between curiosity and freedom. Can`t put it one word.

  16. Y. June 3, 2013 at 3:20 am #

    I have difficulty with answering this question to myself. When I think about it I just feel loneliness. Is not having essense could be the essense?

    • Jake Eagle June 3, 2013 at 3:34 am #

      I think of essence as something that exists, not the lack of something, but this is a very personal thing, so maybe for you essence is a lack of anything.

      Why not say your essence is loneliness or aloneness?

    • Joel January 3, 2016 at 9:55 pm #

      For me, I think essence equates to a purpose. I think what also exist for me is that essence seems to be something more divine as if there is a pre notion of what my essence is. Essence resembles in each one of as truth. Truth with oneself, understanding the true nature of being. The reason I feel this is worth living for as it allows oneself to step into the realm of truly living to the fullest being in the moment.

      • Jake and Hannah Eagle January 4, 2016 at 7:18 am #

        Thank you, Joel. I hope you are living according to your essence. Reading what you wrote . . . it sounds to me like it would be very rewarding.

        • Judith January 10, 2022 at 3:06 pm #


          • Judith January 10, 2022 at 3:13 pm #

            This is Judith again, my reply quickly posted so to finish… My comment was to Joel’s sharing & Jakes and Hanna’s reply. Touched my heart
            I came across this communication about essence as I googled
            What is Essence? Can essence can be described by a flower?

  17. Sylvia August 16, 2013 at 9:09 pm #


  18. P R August 3, 2014 at 6:58 pm #

    I find this question about what is my essence difficulyt to answer as the word that come to mind is sensitive.

    I know that I am intuitive, integrate thoughts of a team into solutions, love to see people become all they can be and now learning to accept that all; go at their rhythm can go faster than one can walk.

    Sometimes I wonder if I did not come to earth to learn about the power of emotions as if I was somekind of Vulcan. I know that at some point I shut down my emotions not to be hurt as a child and now time to unite with my self.

    Wish you well.

    • Jake and Hannah Eagle August 3, 2014 at 8:18 pm #

      I think this is the opportunity we all have, to realize we are no longer the child who was hurt, but we are adults and we are safe and we can find mature and healthy ways to express ourselves.

      • Ojo latoya December 27, 2023 at 5:42 pm #

        I am finding it hard to do this ..but I know I love my family and can do anything to make them happy.i know I can help people without helping my self I know sometimes I am lonely, I know I I want love but am scared of the kind of love that’s offered now.i know I want to impact and make people happy.

  19. Pantel Corp September 23, 2014 at 4:19 am #

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  20. Bahnanas September 25, 2014 at 10:07 am #

    I don’t know! I’m sitting here trying to figure out who I would be today if I weren’t molded by my parents during my first 5 years of life….hmmmm…so many things come to mind. I would like to say strong, confident, happy, loving….fearless…but stll not sure. can you help me.

    • Jake and Hannah Eagle September 25, 2014 at 10:28 am #

      Bahnanas, you can say all of those things: strong, confident, happy, loving, fearless. But if you had to pick one thing that you believe is almost always true about you, what would that be? What quality about you is most reliable? And if you don’t know . . . then say more about how you are holding yourself back from knowing this. I need more information to be helpful. But I’m happy to explore this with you.

  21. Bahnanas September 25, 2014 at 3:08 pm #

    thank you for your response. So I will say “strong”.

  22. Rosa January 4, 2015 at 5:50 pm #

    Ok, so, help me out?

    • Jake and Hannah Eagle January 4, 2015 at 6:01 pm #

      Well . . . what is your most natural way of being in the world? What is true about you regardless of circumstances? What is your basic response to most events? Are you cautious or courageous? What is really unique about you? What makes you feel like you are different from most other people? What is it about you that seems to be true almost no matter what’s going on around you? If you think about your answers to these questions . . . you may find your essence.

  23. Rosa January 4, 2015 at 6:35 pm #

    Ok, I would say courageous. Or creative..or adventuresome..In tough situations, I say, there is ALWAYS a solution. I tend to go towards chaos not run from it, to bring order. I wake up, and wonder what might be around the next corner. I have been told I can make things from scratch, and actually sometimes CREATE the scratch first, lol. And that is way more than one word.

    • Jake and Hannah Eagle January 4, 2015 at 8:35 pm #

      Actually . . . it’s several very cool words from which to choose. Courageous is my wife’s essence. It works well for her.

  24. Alia October 16, 2015 at 3:44 pm #

    could rebellious be an essence ?!
    thank you 🙂

    • Jake and Hannah Eagle October 16, 2015 at 5:24 pm #

      Absolutely. And if I said “No,” you’d probably rebel at that 🙂

  25. awakened November 2, 2015 at 9:46 pm #

    Yep. Awakened

  26. Katie January 11, 2016 at 1:02 pm #


  27. Victoria March 17, 2016 at 7:24 am #

    My essence would be a healer. Since I was little, I’ve wanted to heal whoever was broken.

    • jake Eagle March 17, 2016 at 7:35 am #

      Wonderful, Victoria. My only comment is that I believe we can be better healers when we don’t view or label the people we are working with as “broken.” I see people as sometimes stuck or unclear, but never broken. Let me know if you find this idea helpful.


      • Bea May 16, 2020 at 10:27 pm #

        I grew up in a hispanic household that had christian faith in God and my parents had a strong loving marriage. I think all of this truly influenced me.. I am sensitive, spiritual, ethical and passionate. I remember feeling insecure when I was young. When a man first fell in love with me and I fell in love with him, I learned to to really appreciate my essence. I came into myself because I felt so worthy of love when I was loved like that. I would also say I’m persistent. It is hard when employers knock you down and don’t believe in you or give you time to develop but, I will pick myself up and move forward. I think I’m sensitive because I write poetry at times to express myself and passionate because I’ve always tried to find love.

  28. karen April 12, 2016 at 4:20 am #


    • Jake and Hannah Eagle April 12, 2016 at 9:48 am #

      Karen . . . what do you need to do so that you can remove the question mark?

      • Eydfinn January 19, 2020 at 2:55 pm #


  29. Romi May 11, 2016 at 9:43 pm #

    when I thought of this question, I immediately began to think that I would be more sexual, as in free with my body. If my parents did not raise/condition me for the first 4 years of my life. I would wear very revealing clothes, if any. (my parents arent even really strict about sex, actually, but when i think of this question this is what comes to mind) i would be more open to people and friendships and life. I would be more free. I would probably cry without feeling any type of way about it. So I guess if I had to narrow it down to one word, I would say VULNERABLE.

  30. Robert June 29, 2016 at 3:13 pm #

    As I look back on my life and try to pick one consistent thing out, I think the one word description would be “logical”.

    • Jake and Hannah Eagle June 29, 2016 at 4:27 pm #

      Well, Robert, that sounds logical 🙂 I think you’re the first person to use that word. Thanks for responding…

  31. rah August 2, 2016 at 7:34 am #

    Love. I closed my eyes & asked the question. That was the response.

    • Jake and Hannah Eagle August 2, 2016 at 10:55 am #

      How very fortunate!

  32. Waqef August 8, 2016 at 5:32 am #

    Best Greetings To You Spiritual Teacher!

    I have read all comments that our friends posted about their ESSENCEs; so what now?
    What can they do by realizing their essence, how can they use their essence to brighten their life and live with love?

    • Jake and Hannah Eagle August 8, 2016 at 7:51 am #

      I will suggest that becoming aware of our essence, and maybe our intentions as they relate to our essence, is an initial step. How to brighten our lives and live with love? —— well, this is what so many of our blog posts, articles, and retreats are aimed at.

      What I do is the following. I become aware of my essence. I set my intentions every day so that they are congruent with my essence—they feed it. Then I pay attention throughout my day to see if I am living according to the intention I set. At night, when I prepare to sleep I take time for reflection to notice ways I lived according to my intentions and ways I did not. I become aware if there is anything I need to REDO (A concept we have written about elsewhere). Finally, the next day I make time to express myself if any sort of REDO is necessary. So: intention, attention, reflection, expression.

  33. Jean October 11, 2016 at 4:36 am #

    Good day
    Please help me put it all together and find my essence.
    I see myself as the following person


    • Jake and Hannah Eagle October 11, 2016 at 11:23 am #

      Jean…thanks for sharing your thoughts. If you were to consolidate these qualities into one overarching character trait, what would you call that? “Enthusiastic” is one word that comes to my mind——addressing “exciting” and “expressing,” but it doesn’t cover “loving” and “caring.” I wonder if your essence is that you are an “enthusiastic giver”? Let me know if my comments stimulate any more ideas.

  34. Thunt October 19, 2016 at 1:02 am #

    Ever since I was young I’ve always had this fear of being alone. I’ve always tried very hard to get people to like me. And realized more and more I need to like me. I think my word would with be gentle

    • Jake and Hannah Eagle October 19, 2016 at 7:42 am #

      Tyler, I appreciate what you shared. My guess is that as you allow yourself to be more gentle, more people may like you. And maybe “more” people isn’t the key, maybe it’s a few people who like you more.

  35. Zaggner October 23, 2016 at 6:22 pm #


  36. sarah October 26, 2016 at 1:57 am #


    I am intrigue by this. Is being honest my essence? I am always told my honesty is refreshing and always called upon because of it.

    • Jake and Hannah Eagle October 26, 2016 at 7:22 am #

      Hello Sarah . . . yes, I think a person’s essence could be being honest. I perceive it as a powerful——and a somewhat rare characteristic these days. You might also think about the quality of your honesty. That might further your exploration of your essence. Is your honesty: incisive, compassionate, unbiased? I guess you said it’s “refreshing.” I find that refreshing . . .

  37. Zakariya Gayle December 9, 2016 at 1:24 pm #

    Hi there. Thank you for this post.

    I’ve thought about it and felt about it, and I would say my one word would be ‘Curious’.

    Initially i’ve always wanted to find out, about people, their feelings, why they do or think or feel certain ways. I would always get into trouble at work for being to talkative with the staff and asking too many questions. Whenever I go anywhere if something catches my eye i need to know what’s down this alley way or over here. What is over the wall!! I am curious about history, life and the world and all of the whys. It’s why I am on this page.

    I was going to say creative but, naturally i create as a result of what i’ve discovered and want to deal with various issues i’ve come across. It’s the driving force behind my creativity and also why people may consider me friendly because I’ll always ask questions about you. Just because.

    I also like the other meanings of it which is ‘strange, off beat, funny.’ I consider myself these things as a curious person who is unorthodox. It pretty much does sum me up. Curiosity is why I do anything I enjoy.

    I really appreciate this post. This has given me some much needed insight.

  38. Mike January 31, 2017 at 1:19 am #

    I’d like to thank you for this posting. Until tonight, I gave this topic very little thought. So if I had to choose one word it would be Harmonious.

    Deep down what soothes my soul is people caring for one another because they feel it in their heart and soul. To love and be loved in that way, unconditionally is my wellspring.

    • TOSIN April 16, 2020 at 7:40 am #

      I don’t really know coz all have been doing is think over and over again. But if I should break myself down I think my prayer has always been anything for you LORD…I mean anything even if I find it easy or difficult but anything but HIS WILL. And whenever I found myself on the down part of life there is this little strength faith or hope I get again and after I summed everything up I realize and say and feel I just want to be big and reach out to the works of GOD and to people just as the will of GOD again. And when am happy I realize even though I have everything and a lot I just never think of getting myself this or that or keeping to myself but all I ever wanted is reach out again as without holding anything back to the will of GOD. So the question is could my essence of being be selfless or what? This have never figured out…please help me.

      • Jake and Hannah Eagle April 16, 2020 at 11:33 am #

        Hello Tosin, yes, maybe your essence is being selfless or having faith. Does that feel right to you? Maybe you are thinking about it too much, and the answer is actually very simple. I encourage you to create a state of mind when you feel at ease, very comfortable and connected to what you care about. Then ask this question about your essence and see what comes to you. Thanks for sharing…

  39. Maeve February 20, 2017 at 9:19 pm #

    I’m at peace with this existence. So I’m saying my essence is peace.

  40. Joan February 24, 2017 at 6:07 am #

    WOW JAKE! Thank you from the bottom of my heart, for this outstanding article! It strikes a cord within, realising who we all truly are ever since a kid is our true Essence as a being. Personally, I feel ‘Radiance’ is my Essence. I recall how my dear mamma would proclaim proudly on how I was so cheerful and how I loved to smile, ever since I was a few days old! Strangers would stop and praise her, telling her how beautiful her baby is!

    Besides, my parents brought me along, travelling around the world extensively ever since I was born. And wherever I went, whatever I saw and everything I got to experience in reality, made me feel so Boundless and infinite within. I revelled in the intricate mesh of human connection, feeling the subtle, underlying exchange of energies that is occurring in every moment. I feel so free, complete and liberated in my Being, knowing that somehow, subconsciously within, we as a mankind are All one.

    Once again, thank you so sincerely for this enlightening article. This really connected me back to what truly Matters in life. And in living authentically, we would feel Whole, and complete within.

    God bless, and take care!

  41. Ritu April 6, 2017 at 1:38 am #

    Please help me find my essence.

    • Jake and Hannah Eagle April 6, 2017 at 7:11 am #

      You’ll need to give me something to work with. Start the process. See where you find yourself. Answer the questions presented in the article. Then, if you need more help I’ll share suggestions with you.

  42. Hans December 12, 2017 at 8:57 am #

    Hi Jake, thank you for this article. I wonder, could ‘Sensual’ be my Essence?
    Since I was little, my deepest yearning has been to Feel the world, to feel and to immerse myself in every moment deeply, and be one with whoever or where ever I am. In all these moments, I would feel pure bliss, joy and peace. I feel Whole. Could this be it?

    Thank you!

    • Jake and Hannah Eagle December 12, 2017 at 10:00 am #

      Absolutely! I encourage you to honor your essence and I imagine that doing so will be very rewarding.

  43. Cinthia December 28, 2017 at 9:58 pm #

    Hi Jake. After reading your post and thinking about this I have concluded that my essence is passion. Now my question is what do I do with this knowledge

    • Jake and Hannah Eagle December 28, 2017 at 10:04 pm #

      Cinthia——you live your life by honoring your essence, which means using “passion” as a criteria when you make decisions. You may not always be able to use “passion” as your guide, but I encourage you to let it be a beacon for your journey.

  44. Destiny March 9, 2018 at 8:28 pm #

    I guess I would have to use the word Quiet. I use this word because as far back as I can remember and what I have been told I was always okay with just being by my self sitting quietly or ready etc.
    But my question is , If my essence is quiet then how is that going to help me and guide me in my life ? I live NYC so quiet is not on high abundance here .

    • Jake and Hannah Eagle March 9, 2018 at 9:36 pm #

      Hi Destiny, I would say that if “Quiet” is your essence, you might want to look for ways to a) find quiet within you, regardless of what’s going on outside of you, and b) I wonder if you will help yourself by being with people who appreciate quiet.

  45. ML March 27, 2018 at 7:54 am #

    This is very difficult for me. I have depression and an extreme disconnect from my emotions, so when asked to do things like this I draw a complete blank. Emotions are foreign to me and escape my comprehension. How can I find my essence?

    • Jake and Hannah Eagle March 27, 2018 at 1:13 pm #

      Hello ML—— How do you know you are depressed? I assume you have some sensation or feeling that leads you to the conclusion that you are depressed. So I guess that you do have the ability to connect with how you feel, it just may be a narrow range of feelings that you have learned to identify. I suggest you ask the question, “What would I like my life to look like and how would I like to feel?” Give yourself room to explore the possibilities, even if you only imagine them. After you answer the question about how you would like your life to look, ask yourself another question, “If my life looked that way, what would it feed in me?” In other words, why do you want that life that you imagine? This may help you get closer to identifying your essence. If you can’t connect with it in the present, maybe you can connect with it as you imagine an ideal future.

  46. Prudence June 25, 2018 at 5:05 pm #

    Hi Jake, I am feeling deep within myself and I am wondering, could ‘Healing’ be my essence? It feels almost flowing and healing like a water, and I have a deep strive within to better and heal my patients that I come into contact with everyday. Thank you for this enlightening article, and God bless you.

    • Jake and Hannah Eagle June 25, 2018 at 5:41 pm #

      Hello Prudence, I can imagine that “healing” could be your essence. How fortunate!

  47. Patty September 16, 2018 at 11:38 am #


  48. Amanda October 15, 2018 at 1:20 pm #

    Hi Jake I have always been this kind, sweet, loving person who is forever considerate of others, I find joy in helping others and feel uncomfortable whenever I have to be selfish or unkind. I also tend to put others before myself and in my relationships I am the fixer who is attracted to conflicted souls, the person who wants to save everybody. How would you sum this up if I were to use one word?

    • Jake and Hannah Eagle October 15, 2018 at 1:28 pm #

      Hi Amanda,

      Well, I’m not sure. But you might try on some words to see if they fit. For example: Selfless. Caretaker. Sacrificial. I’m curious if you feel good about this quality. Do you like this about yourself? If so, find a word that helps you celebrate this quality. Let me know what you come up wth…

  49. George December 4, 2018 at 10:59 am #

    I’d have to say… Heart.

    In times of trouble, I go within and try to find answers. Feeling my way through things is how I function best. When I do something nice for a stranger, it gives me real joy. I sometimes put myself out too much and struggle sometimes but I’m trying to find my balance. I try to be empathetic and loving to those around me and trying to share it even more as I continue down my journey…

  50. Doris December 6, 2018 at 7:36 am #

    Hello Jake and Hannah. I’ve been wrestling with the question. I come up with seduction, appreciation, curiosity… Seduction sounds manipulative, so it cannot be that… I probably developed seduction as a way of being liked/chosen. Essence could be a blind spot that only others can see? When I step into a room, I am told I command attention but I also put everyone at ease… I see value and possibility in everyone… those appearing to be very ‘ordinary’. Can you help me capture this in one word? With appreciation, Doris

    • Jake and Hannah Eagle December 6, 2018 at 10:19 pm #

      Hi Doris, If “seduction” feels close, you might consider changing the word to “desirable.” If you emphasize your tendency to command attention, you might consider the word, “presence.” I like to hear how you see value and possibility in everyone. This makes me think you make a “contribution,” maybe that is another word to try on. See what feels right to you. I hope this helps. Jake

  51. Elizabeth August 2, 2019 at 4:20 am #

    Thank you! I believe mine is “Curiosity”. I do most everything to see what happens, where it goes and what I can create.

  52. Irene Boyd October 26, 2019 at 7:30 pm #

    These terms describe many human beings..but what does it have to do with lack and limitstions.the term original face was used in this context. My parents did the best they could.

    • Jake and Hannah Eagle October 28, 2019 at 11:37 am #

      Hi Irene, I’m not sure what you are asking. We are asking people to identify the core of their being-ness——their essence. From my point of view, this is not about any lack or limitation, but rather the opposite. If you’d like to say more, I’ll try to understand you question. Thanks for commenting…

  53. Holly November 15, 2019 at 7:18 pm #

    Hi! What a neat question! I’m struggling to find mine. I feel I’m a very intense person. I really love hard and can flip to the other side quick too!I I love daring and adventurous things. I’ve struggled with addiction and depression. Self love is a struggle too. I feel I can be soooo happy and can spread my happiness wherever I go…. when I’m happy. Can you help me figure out my essence??

    • Jake and Hannah Eagle November 15, 2019 at 8:24 pm #

      Hi Holly, Have you considered your essence may be exactly what you said, “intense”? I might have said that about myself at one time in my life, but I don’t think it’s true for me now. It sounds to me like whatever you do, you do fully. If so, this makes your choices even more important than they are for most people.

      Do you like the idea that your essence may be “intense,” or would you prefer something else. It helps to select something that you feel good about and can take ownership of. I’m happy to communicate more if you need more help.

      • Holly November 17, 2019 at 7:38 am #

        Thanks for responding! I’m not completely sold on Intense. Maybe I’m just highly sensitive. I’m not too familiar with the term Empath, but from a few things I’ve read I feel ring very true to me. I can’t stop thinking about this!!!

        • Jake and Hannah Eagle November 17, 2019 at 2:30 pm #

          Highly sensitive, attuned, aware, perceptive . . . are some words that come to mind. I would be careful about the term “empath” because it implies we know how others are feeling. And, although we may be very perceptive, we always see the world through our filters.

          You want an answer to this question, and you want it now, don’t you? That’s part of your nature . . . Enjoy the exploration.


          • Holly November 17, 2019 at 3:51 pm #

            Thanks so much! Yes so true about seeing things through our own filters!! I will continue to explore this! I may be back with more questions!!!

  54. Sylvie January 30, 2020 at 12:38 pm #

    Hi Jake and Hannah,

    I am really struggling in finding my essence. I am a loving, caring, empathetic, respectful, human being who find joy in helping others. I also believe in treating others the way you will like to be treated.

  55. Ola May 4, 2020 at 7:09 am #

    These questions has been bothering me but I think with the way I was raised by my parents and what have seen while growing up I just don’t want to make the same mistake others have made.i would say my essence is optimists I always see the green light at the end of the tunnel

  56. Paul Likitsakos May 20, 2020 at 9:36 am #

    Thinking my essence is building.

  57. Adriana May 26, 2020 at 10:29 am #

    I would say my essence is “driven and perseverant”. Can this be capture this in one word?

    • Jake and Hannah Eagle July 8, 2020 at 11:16 am #

      Hi Adriana—it’s not a problem using two words, and they seem to go together. But if you want to reduce it to one word, I think that perseverance implies being somewhat driven.

  58. Saili July 8, 2020 at 7:01 am #

    Does ‘unpredictable’ count as an essence?

    • Jake and Hannah Eagle July 8, 2020 at 11:17 am #

      Saili, it sure does—unless you change your mind 🙂

  59. Renu July 30, 2020 at 1:21 am #

    Whatever it is, I think I know it but I am denying it and suppressing it. An incident got me into trouble when I was 16. But I have a very unique very early memory of realizing, I am a human in human world and this world is very imperfect right now. And as a child I always could see in others what they couldn’t (troubles mostly) and I always felt I am here to change it, to make it (world) better. I was wayy too forward and open minded and free-spirited (I always felt like that), for my culture (I realised this at 16).

    Maybe my word is free-spirited. Or just, Free.

    • Tracie Foster December 3, 2020 at 6:46 pm #

      I can’t pinpoint my essence. I am a true Gemini, in that I have so many facets, I can’t seem to figure out which is my truthful essence. Any advice??

  60. Laurie October 21, 2020 at 5:05 pm #

    Self-love, There was a lack of love in my home and looking back love was not shared, but there was not self-love. Self-love is the key to becoming anything you desire, because you believe in yourself.

  61. Sheri December 8, 2020 at 5:13 pm #

    Spirit either way, but without my parents I would’ve found it sooner rather than in my 30s again from my childhood. But had my parents my mom not taught me to well I taught myself to read. Had she not fostered an environment where I was able to teach myself to read and then to choose the books I wanted to read which were books about all the different types of religions and myths and legends and sacred stories around the world and in America north south central all over the world to give me a great understanding of the nature of spirit not religion but spirit… I would not have understood the world as I do it from my perspective connected with nature as well as I never would’ve understood why I didn’t fit in with religion even if I hadn’t had that childhood reading background. It’s so sad of mom in later years my mom said she wish she had not let me read all those books that way I might’ve been Catholic which she and my dad converted to years later. And I was like no no no I am so thankful I have the richness of spirit to guide me through life. I am ever so grateful for that. And that is who I am whether it began in childhood and then again in 30s or whether it went from childhood on up which it didn’t. I am grateful, humbled, And honored to have such a strong connection.

  62. Rosy December 16, 2020 at 6:58 pm #

    I am feeling creator, because I have always created with my voice, with my imagination, with the circumstances presented, with the lack of resource available.

  63. Bren January 4, 2021 at 10:39 pm #


  64. Favour April 2, 2021 at 1:08 pm #

    I will like to know the essence of my being..can you help me please?
    I realized I’m an inquisitive type always trying to find ways to do something special and different….I can be really emotional at times and always craving for attention…

    • Jake and Hannah Eagle April 9, 2021 at 4:53 pm #

      Hi Favour, as I read your words what stands out to me is the word “craving.” Might that be your essence?

  65. Miri B May 20, 2021 at 2:03 pm #

    I can’t find the words without wondering if what I’m feeling is what life has taught me to be rather than who I was before life stepped in. What I feel is a huge sadness that in order to be in this world I can’t show my true essence because it’s never been accepted by those I want to love and want to love me back. I feel like I’ve always been a chameleon changing to fit with people or situations, hiding who I really am in order to survive in what can feel like a harsh world. That makes me feel weak but I don’t think weakness is my essence. Help! Who am I? 🙁
    (I’m creative, sensitive and gentle at heart, i love nature and animals – is that my essence??)

  66. Miri B May 20, 2021 at 2:16 pm #

    Maybe my word is Empathy, But to a ridiculous extreme – I can even feel empathy for inanimate objects and that has been true from a very early age!

    • Jake and Hannah Eagle May 20, 2021 at 3:46 pm #

      Hi Miri, it seems to me you’ve sorted out your question and come up with a clear answer. I encourage you to let your essence shine through. The people who appreciate that will be “your” people. They’re out there… I see such people in our Live Conscious community every day.

      • Miri B May 21, 2021 at 3:17 am #

        Thank you 😊I’ve only just come across your site and I love what I see. Also so lovely and appreciated that you answer in person

  67. LaurieEssence May 23, 2021 at 8:48 pm #

    Courage! I Believe My Essence is Courage, I Had and Still Have The Ability To Adapt To Change and Transform. I’ve Always Been Told I Was Strong and Courageous.

  68. Sharon Sephton August 17, 2021 at 1:06 am #

    Gentle Presence

    • Jake and Hannah Eagle August 17, 2021 at 1:10 am #


  69. Naomi Massoud September 18, 2021 at 2:54 pm #

    Hi Jake.

    I cannot find a word, I feel as if I am experiencing an identity crisis. Very lost. My mother grew up in a small village in Latin America, therefore, she was obsessed with looks and having perfect social skills to attack good rich men and my father is Lebanese so he wanted the opposite. He wanted me to be a perfect student and work till I die to never depend on anyone. The problem lies where still at 20 years old I have this need for pleasing both of them. And now I cannot be either of them, and I’ve just become useless in everything I do. My group of friends is so diverse and most of them represent different stages of my life. I’ve never been consistent with my personality, I’ve always had drastic changes. Drastic in the sense that I have a complete personality switch as if I am a completely different person. I feel that I always absorb the other person’s personality because I wanna be liked. And my need to satisfy everyone has taken me to experience this inability to know myself or know what I love. When people ask me what is that I like to do, nothing comes to mind. Because it changes every second. I know that everyone is constantly evolving, nothing is static; however, these drastic changes are having a negative impact on my life. and I really want to find my path, just to be able to start.

    • Jake and Hannah Eagle September 18, 2021 at 3:16 pm #

      Hi Naomi,
      You mentioned that your mother was obsessed with having perfect social skills to “attack” good rich men——did you mean “attack” or “attract”? I hope that latter 🙂
      It’s understandable that at 20 you want to please your parents, and it’s also the ideal time to start individuating from them. You might want to read this article on our site that describes the process: https://liveconscious.com/2011/12/individuation-process/
      The point is not to be either of your parents, but to be yourself. See if you can get in touch with your internal compass so that you begin to get a sense of what you enjoy and appreciate. You don’t need to share the details with other people, just begin by noticing. Do you enjoy and appreciate yourself when you are with one friend more than another? Do you enjoy and appreciate yourself when you are alone, reading, writing, walking, doing yoga, or whatever it is you are doing? Start to notice what feeds your soul, gives you a sense of comfort. Create a journal to keep track. This is one idea that may help you get started.
      Thank you for reaching out.

      • Debra R November 5, 2023 at 11:22 am #

        Unique is a word that popped into my head without thought.
        When I think about my perceptions of people and life, even as a young child, there is a word that has been a constant; acceptance.
        I was going to elaborate on acceptance as my essence, but I keep coming back to the thought, simply acceptance.

  70. Donah December 14, 2021 at 7:10 am #

    Hm. My essence is to be caring, caring to all that surrounds me. I realized this when I came in as a caregiver, testing all my patience. How to handle my problem, trust God. how to handle my kids, while doing my job: trust God. How to handle my patient and especially the family of my patients, just trust God. When I feel moving down, just pray and God will do the way. Now, I’m enrolled in this program (Diploma in Midwifery), I want to measure or to challenge myself to what extent I can be caring with this role.

  71. Steph March 16, 2022 at 11:00 am #

    Trying to put my essence into a word. I feel the true essence of myself when I am in nature surrounded by the ocean or the mountains. I feel the same sense of self when I am deeply connected to something or someone purposeful. In these circumstances I feel a deep connectedness to the divine, aware, awakening of my spirit, excitement and peace. I’m not sure how to put that feeling of divine connection or awareness into a word.

    • Jake and Hannah Eagle October 18, 2022 at 6:41 pm #

      Steph, maybe your essence is “being connected to the divine”

  72. David May 23, 2022 at 10:47 am #

    It has been difficult for me to know my essence of being can you help me please

    • Jake and Hannah Eagle October 18, 2022 at 6:41 pm #

      David, I’d need to know more to be helpful. What moves you? What makes you feel like you’re alive? What makes you feel like you’ve found your home? If you share more, maybe I can help…

  73. Anna August 14, 2022 at 4:44 am #

    How is it possible to fully distinguish what’s our true essence from what’s been somewhat influenced by our upbringing as we’re so malleable between the ages of 0-4? We’re all a blank canvas when we’re born.
    Im thinking of many things for myself but hard fo know if it’s my essence or if that was partly shaped by my family environment, parents etc. What is your thought?

    • Jake and Hannah Eagle October 18, 2022 at 6:39 pm #

      Hi Anna, Our essence very well may have been shaped by our upbringing——most likely it was. But eventually, by time we become adults, we sort through our upbringing and all life experiences and we discover our essence.

  74. Shysta June 30, 2023 at 1:51 am #

    Wow…. thank you very much for this. I now know my essence is ‘Confidence’ It randomly came to me after reading one person’s comment above about their word. This is one thing I lacked the Most growing up too.

    • Jake and Hannah Eagle June 30, 2023 at 12:22 pm #

      How wonderful!

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