Tag Archives | Witness

Presence Trumps Force

There are two ways to be powerful—one is to use force, the other is to embody presence. Force may get you want you want, but you’ll leave behind messy emotional footprints. Embodying presence will get you what you really want—if you want a life without suffering. In the US elections in 2016 we see two […]



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Must Our Histories Cast a Shadow on Love?

Can love really be easy? Can relationships be easy? Or do our darker sides, our shadows, that are born out of neglect, abuse, or lack of nurturance early in life—result in us having to work hard to love and be loved? Do our early life emotional deficits—as well as rejection and failed relationships later in […]



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A Letter of Gratitude

We have been sharing this work with people for over fifteen years. From time to time we receive expressions of gratitude from people who have participated in this work—usually after attending one of our retreats . . . or more than one. Recently we received this letter of gratitude from a dear person, who so […]



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Grow Your Brain

Would you like to grow your brain—learn how to use more of your brain? What if you could go from using 15% to 20%? Imagine the changes that would occur. The 2014 movie “Lucy,” explores this subject by dramatizing what happens when the main character gains access to 100% of her brain. Essentially, she expands […]



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There is a time to whine

In my office I have a sign that my clients can see from their chair. It says, “Thou Shalt Not Whine.” It’s partially meant to be a joke, but it’s also indicative of my approach to therapy. I’ll say more about that in a minute, but in this article I want to acknowledge that I’ve […]



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Make The Most of NOW

Do you want to be happy? Do you want to live with an open heart? Do you want to conduct yourself so that you feel good about yourself? All of this is possible—the key is learning to do two things. Not “learning two things,” but “learning TO DO two things.” Both of which I wish […]



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How to be a better man

Do you want to be a better man? Do you remember that line from the movie, As Good As It Gets—Jack Nicholson says to Helen Hunt—”You make me want to be a better man.” And she says, “That’s maybe the best compliment of my life.” In the past few weeks I’ve been counseling several couples. […]



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Finding Yourself – A Love Story

Finding yourself is a journey Finally, one perfect day in early July, I arrive in northern New Mexico with comfortable clothes, a journal, sunscreen, a jacket for cool nights, and rain gear. I’m aware that I’m carrying my interior baggage as well—hoping that someone will be heavier than I, uglier, older, more insecure, more anxious, […]



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