Tag Archives | Marriage

What Is Reality?

“It is sometimes said that our image of reality is an illusion, but that is misleading. It may all be an appearance in the mind, but it is nonetheless real—the only reality we ever know. The illusion comes when we confuse the reality we experience with the physical reality, the thing-in-itself.” Peter Russell   A […]



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Make Love Easy

Do you struggle at times to love your partner? Many people do. Some, because they’re with the wrong partner. But for many of us it’s because we never learned how to make love easy. One reason is that very few people actually believe love can be easy. We hear so much about relationships being hard […]



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Two Very Different Kinds of Romantic Love

What does it look like, feel like, sound like to have a healthy heart connection within your romantic love relationship? This question arose recently when I was working with a client. The man I was working with is very healthy, extremely bright, and very committed to his own personal development. But the more we talked the […]



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The Hole In My Heart

Do you have a hole in your heart? Have you had different romantic partners, but the basic dynamic between you remains the same? The dynamic, in short, is this—you don’t get what you want. Somehow you keep making the same mistake, either choosing the wrong person or looking for the wrong thing from the person […]



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Blog Hop

I want to thank Elyn Aviva for introducing me to the notion of a blog hop. The purpose of a blog hop is for one blogger to introduce his or her audience to another blogger whose work we highly appreciate. And also, as part of the blog hop I’ve been asked to answer a few […]



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Four Mistakes That Couples Make

I spend several hours every week watching smart people make terrible mistakes in how they treat their lovers/partners. What follows is a list of the four major mistakes I see couples make. If I do nothing more than commit myself to avoiding these four mistakes, I radically improve the quality of my partnership. 1. Comparing […]



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The Keys To Aging Well

The first key to aging well—start now! Is this important to you? Do you want to age well? You should—because aging poorly is a real drag. And unnecessary. In this article I’ll share with you some results found in The Study of Adult Development. This is a unique study because it looks at the lives […]



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Dating Relating Mating

A Map For Romantic Relationships Walk, run, rest. Hop, skip, jump. Birth, life, death. Everything has a rhythm—an order. This is true for romantic relationships but most people don’t know or pay attention to the order. It goes like this: Dating, Relating, Mating. And when I use the term “mating,” what I mean is entering […]



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How To Let Go

What do you need to let go of? I work with a lot of couples in my therapy practice. They come to therapy because they are discontented—and brave. That’s why I enjoy this work. These couples that come to me are motivated to make changes in the ways they relate to one-another. And they are […]



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How To Love

It can be easy I want to share with you part of a recent therapy session I conducted. The work I did is counter-intuitive in many ways. It connects to a previous article I wrote, Love or Fear. So much of therapy is based on minimizing people’s fears, and although at times this is necessary […]



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