Tag Archives | Kindness

A small child looking out the gap of craft box

Breaking Out Of Your Box

We all live inside of self-constructed boxes. I’m not talking about boxes built out of wood, concrete and sheetrock. I’m talking about boxes that we build out of our memories, beliefs and the words we use to talk about ourselves. The primary purpose of our boxes is to make us feel safe and secure. Some […]

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A Remarkable Woman — my mom

How old do you feel like you are? It was about a week ago when I asked my mother, “How old do you feel like you are?” She said, “Twenty-three.” And if I were to measure her by her spirit and enthusiasm for life I would agree. In physical years she is eighty-nine—and dying. She […]

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Beautiful spring forest with carpet of bluebells or wild hyacinths on a sunny day, Belgium, Halle

A Mindful Life

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living […]

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Up Against The Glass

I’ve recently returned from a two-week excursion of channeling my mother. Not what I would call a luxurious holiday, but looking back I see it was a necessary fact finding adventure. And, like many adventures, I found myself in turbulent waters, desolate landscapes and challenging situations. Although my mother’s mind and heart are familiar territory […]

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Four Mistakes That Couples Make

I spend several hours every week watching smart people make terrible mistakes in how they treat their lovers/partners. What follows is a list of the four major mistakes I see couples make. If I do nothing more than commit myself to avoiding these four mistakes, I radically improve the quality of my partnership. 1. Comparing […]

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How to be a better man

Do you want to be a better man? Do you remember that line from the movie, As Good As It Gets—Jack Nicholson says to Helen Hunt—”You make me want to be a better man.” And she says, “That’s maybe the best compliment of my life.” In the past few weeks I’ve been counseling several couples. […]

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Dating Relating Mating

A Map For Romantic Relationships Walk, run, rest. Hop, skip, jump. Birth, life, death. Everything has a rhythm—an order. This is true for romantic relationships but most people don’t know or pay attention to the order. It goes like this: Dating, Relating, Mating. And when I use the term “mating,” what I mean is entering […]

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How To Dream

I have a dream . . . I have a dream of a gentle world Spacious and soft A world where we each know what we value And we value our humanity and divinity alike I have a dream of a world where our differences Don’t divide us but define us As unique and irreplaceable […]

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Stand Up For Yourself

Moms (and Dads) have their ways.  They can be pretty powerful in good ways and in not so good ways. Much guidance and direction are needed when we are young, but when we find we’re still being directed, manipulated or controlled (often in our own minds) by our parents  as adults, how do we stand […]

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Young woman is seeing her boyfriend off

How To Love

It can be easy I want to share with you part of a recent therapy session I conducted. The work I did is counter-intuitive in many ways. It connects to a previous article I wrote, Love or Fear. So much of therapy is based on minimizing people’s fears, and although at times this is necessary […]

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