In an earlier posting I wrote about how to find a good man
. Most everything I said applies to finding a good woman, so please reference that post. However, here are a few more specific comments.
By the way, there’s a lot more interest expressed by women trying to find a good man than there is for men trying to find a good woman. Every day, over 6,000 woman search the Internet for the phrase, “how to get a guy.” At the same time, 1,300 men search for, “how to get a woman.” The real problem I see is that each day only 4 people search for, “how to make a healthy relationship.”
Too many people either have the wrong criteria or none at all. If you use “healthy” as your criteria, you may find fewer potential partners, but you will waste a lot less of your time.
As for finding a good woman, look for a woman who:
- Likes and respects her dad
- Believes that she is lovable
- Won’t sleep with you for 12-16 weeks
We all seek that which is familiar. If a woman had a good and healthy relationship with her father, she is more likely to be interested in healthy men.
If a woman—or a guy—believes they are lovable, they will have higher expectations of their partner, they will be less tolerant of mistreatment and they will more easily accept your love. All of these traits contribute to the success of a romantic relationship.
If a woman refuses to sleep with a potential partner for 3-4 months, this suggests that she has reasonably good self-esteem, is not desperate and believes she is worth waiting for.
Although I believe the above to be true, I do not believe the opposites rule a woman out. Plenty of women who did not have good relationships with their fathers turn themselves into great partners. They may even use their not-so-good relationships with their fathers as motivation to be more conscious and more selective. Plenty of women who don’t feel lovable, work hard to become lovable. It is not an insurmountable limitation, just one that requires more effort. Some women choose very early on to sleep with a potential partner; this does not mean they have low self-esteem. They simply may have a different agenda, such as looking for sex, not a relationship.
With those caveats in mind, I’ll strongly suggest that it’s easier to create a healthy relationship with a woman who likes her dad, believes she’s lovable, and won’t sleep with you for 3-4 months.